Day 3
I was now looking for some or the other opportune moment to cross the shop. Luckily for me, the next day a school friend of mine named Suman was to visit me. We had never met after passing out from school, when I took up engineering and went to study in another state and she took up Basic Sciences, before dropping from the course and appearing in the entrance exams for engineering. We had lost touch, but after she had got herself admitted in B. Pharm course, she managed to get my number from a common friend and since then we would be in touch occasionally. Somehow, her enthusiasm while talking to me had always been a cause of concern for me. What more, she would then give her phone to her mother and father too, to talk to me. I had found this strange. Though I had met her parents in a few occasions, I never shared a kind of bond that they would be eager to talk to me so much over the phone. May be it was because I had always been the topper of my class throughout my school life. However, none of the parents of my other male friends ever seemed to be eager to talk to me over the phone when I would call them up. Why them then? But I had always ignored it all. She would always ask me to come to her house whenever I would come to Kolkata during vacations, but the lazy me would hardly get his ass up to anywhere, least of all for a girl.
Now things were different. I had finished my course and was here for a few months and she was all so eager to meet me. So I finally invited her over to my place. She was to come today, at around 10 am. And if her voice over the mobile was any indication, I knew she wouldn’t be late by even a second, come what may. She didn’t know the path to my house and so I was to go and bring her from the bus stop. And I was more than happy to do so, because it meant crossing that glass shop. I prayed to god as I stepped out for my man to be there. Monsoon had already arrived in Kolkata and it was extremely cloudy. I prayed that it starts raining suddenly and I take shelter in his shop. Throughout that 5 minute stretch between my house and the shop, I had prayers on my lips. As I approached it, my heart started thumping loudly. But alas! He wasn’t there.
As I reached the bus stop, another sight surprised me. Suman had her mother by her side. She never gave me the slightest of hint that her mother would be accompanying her. How should I decipher that? But then the thought crossed my mind that Bengali’s are too protective of their child, especially girls and often accompanied them to most places. After the customary Namaste and Hi, we started walking towards my home. I crossed the shop again. Even as I chatted with Suman, I looked inside the shop, there was no sign of him. I deliberately asked her to stop there so that her mother could catch up with us. But the brief stop failed to yield the result I had intended it to. I moved on with a heavy heart.
My mother was equally surprised to see Suman with her mother. She was cleaning up the wheat that my father had brought all the way from Punjab. She had to leave her current vocation and join us inside. After all, it would have been an extremely rude and unwelcoming behaviour if my mother wouldn’t chat with her counterpart. The chit-chat went on for nearly two hours. The topics ranged from how well a student I was in school to why and how my parents had come to Kolkata, with Suman’s mother occasionally advising to buy some property in Kolkata and settle down. However, when she sensed that my mother wouldn’t have a piece of that, she was all nostalgic about the days she had spent in Chandigarh when her husband was posted there. Finally, at 12:30 pm they decided it was time to leave and I received an invitation yet again to visit their home, both of them having extracted enough information about my likes and dislikes in food. And so, I received a lunch invitation to be precise.
The previous day it was around noon that I had seen him at the shop. This raised the prospects of stealing a glance at him today again, if I was to get lucky. Thankfully, a friend of mine who had recently joined a software giant in Salt Lake had called me up and asked me to get his cell recharged, since he couldn’t get the time to do so himself. So now, I had two excuses to go that side again. One, I had to see Suman and her mother off, and two I had to get my friends cellphone recharged. As had become the custom with me by now, I stepped out of my house with prayers on my lips. As I crossed the shop, I saw him there again. I was overjoyed. He didn’t see me and neither did I try to gain his attraction by standing there, since I was with Suman. In addition, now that I knew he was there at the shop, I would get another chance when I return to catch his eye. So, I saw my friend off, got the cell recharged and was back to where my heart seemed to have been left. I could hear my heart beating out loud inside my chest. Nervousness was taking over me. Should I stop by and talk to him? What should I say? How should I start conversing him? These thoughts were constantly unsettling me.
The shop arrived. He looked at me and stood up to give his customary salute, and I repeated my end of the gesture. I couldn’t muster enough courage to stop by and even ask his name on some flimsy context. All I could do was come back home and have self-pittance over my own inability.
Day 4
I could hardly concentrate on anything now. I had to let my feelings out in some way, to some one. I couldn’t keep the excitement within me and decided to share the new tryst in my life with my friend Aagan. I had befriended Aagan over the net and we had developed a nice friendship. The whole day I SMS-chatted with him, telling him about my feelings, and like a Love Guru, he kept advising me. I didn’t get lucky in the afternoon and in the evening, as I did meet him. He was on a bicycle, clothed in his finest accessories, and in the midst of the crowded street. But that didn’t stop him from performing his salutation. I was on a bicylce myself, my mother seated at the back and so, couldn’t stop him and talk to him. I had lost a golden opportunity to talk to him all alone.
All night long, only one song kept repeating itself inside my mind, “Ghar se nikalte hi, kuch dur chalet hi, raste pe hai uska ghar…” My situation was no better than the Hindi film hero who would roam around the house of the one he was eyeing and about whom he knew nothing, except for the time when she would come to the balcony to dry up the clothes and look at him and smile…only in my case, it was a man instead of a woman.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Salutes and Half Waves- I
It’s been so long since I have even logged onto this blog. I had been wanting to write down the bitter experience I had in the last two days at ISM, thanks to the administration and their whims. I actually fell ill due to that. But today I am in a different mood these days...and I have decided to write down the recent turn of events in the form a story....
Kindly note that it would be most real..with a few exaggerations here and there, what I would call as "Creative Freedom".. It is gonna e a long one..and even I don't know what turn it will take.
Something unexpected has been happening for the last few days and has been occupying my IMAGINATION since then. Yes, imagination I write, cause I still don’t know if it’s all in my head, or am I deciphering the signals correctly. Well, I am old enough to take note of the signals now, though I have never done that before, but yes, I have read it a thousand times online…and I think it is happening with me too. (Yay!!)
It all began about a week ago. I was getting out of my house, my cycle with me, to buy milk from the dairy shop. As I just got out of the door, there I saw, a guy of almost my age in his early 20s, riding his cycle along with his friend. I kept looking at him (the way I usually do with good looking guys) and he seemed to be doing the same, or at least had noticed the same. He smiled at me, and I sort of shied away. For a moment, it seemed as if I had seen the guy somewhere or knew him. Was that the reason he had also looked at me? Well, I didn’t waste much of my time and got up my cycle. I was headed in the same direction as him. I cycled fast to reach him, and then slowed down. He noticed me again, and this time said, “Nahi pehchante toh kya hua, baat toh kar hi sakte ho!” I momentarily stopped my cycle. My heartalmost skipping a beat. But then, out of no reason, I just sped away. He had reached his destination and he advanced no more, though his words rang in my ears, like the temple bells. How much I cursed myself for not stopping by and starting a conversation, for I didn’t know if I would be ever seeing him again. But then, when it came to talking to strangers or persons I am not too familiar with, I develop cold feet. I am such a crippled man in these terms, and it played spoilsport.
I thought it would be like the thousands of guys I just develop a fancy for while walking down the street or in any other crowded place and then forget as soon as I am out of it. But as luck would have it, it was not to be the case this time. As I returned back from my small trip to the dairy and was about to enter my house, I saw him coming again, this time without a shirt and only in his ganjee, sweat dripping from his body and his handkerchief around his neck. And there he was, smiling at me, and in fact, he waved at me. Not wave actually; he sort of saluted me. This time he was all alone, not in the company of any friend. I so dearly wanted to stop him and ask him was he actually hitting on me or was it just another Bengali catching the fancy of befriending a Punjabi? But as usual, I froze at the very thought of talking to him, and I let the moment pass again. Sighhh..
But destiny seems had some greater plans for me and I was to meet him very soon. And by very soon I mean a few hours later. It was around 7 pm and my stomach seemed to be asking to be fed with some light snack or evening meal. So I went to buy chops from the local shop, which was exactly at the place where I had sped away from him. As the Chopwallah was frying those chops, I stood there, trying to figure out among the dim light of the street lamp any good looking guy who could make my wait worth it and soothe my sore eyes. As I turned around, I saw two figures sitting outside a shop nearby. It wasn’t even a second that my eyes had wandered there but I saw someone waving at me and saluting in that typical manner I had seen a few hours back. My man was sitting there, chatting up with his friend, at the same time, keeping an eye on me. I wanted to run over to him and jump on him. I was all smiles, but from this distance and this darkness, he would have never seen that smile on my face. I lifted my hand to him, then pulling it back; not knowing what to do or how to respond. But even as this commotion within me continued, I did manage to half-wave at him back and he seemed to have seen that. I now felt like walking up to him, but he had his friend by his side. Even as my mind kept jostling between what should I do and what not, a lady came and sat beside them. She had a bowl in her hand and was making jhalmuri. I turned back, my head filled with thoughts of how to approach the guy. As the Chopwallah finished making the aloo chops for me, I paid him and began my journey back home. But to my dismay, he was no longer sitting there. He had suddenly disappeared, just as he had seemed to have appeared from nowhere before me. I lost my cheerful mood, but at least, I knew now that if I was to find him again, it had to be this place and shop. It was with these thoughts that I consoled my mind and prayed for another moment to meet him.
Day 2
It was just a one day meeting and for some reason, I seemed to have started longing to meet him again. But I was still not sure whether it was a chance encounter or I would be seeing more of him. The shop where I had seen him sitting with his friend the previous night was one that dealt with glass. From glass panes to glass tables…they dealt with everything. As the shop was a few meters away from my home and just on the roadside, I had to cross it whenever I would venture out of my home in that direction. These days, with my B.Tech having completed and me waiting for the joining dates to be mailed to me by the company, I didn’t have much to do and so would usually just doze off at home. But now, I seemed to long to go out in that direction. The next day at around noon, my mother asked me to bring something from the grocery shop. I had to pass the shop again. As I stepped out, I prayed to god to let him be there again. As I neared that shop, I slowed down my bicycle. I hadn’t approached the shop yet, but the road was very much visible in the glasses that lay within, resting against the wall. My man was sitting inside on a wooden table that I had seen being used to keep the glass on it to take measurements etc. He saw my reflection on the glass (which was acting like a mirror now) and was quick enough to look at me as I crossed the shop and raise his hand to give that customary salute of his. I, of course, was all smiles again and half-waved at him again. As I returned back, he was still there, only this time he had his face turned away and he didn’t see me coming. From within me, I waved at him and longed for him to turn back and look at me, but as I crossed the shop, no such thing happened.
The whole day I was now pre-occupied with thoughts of whether I was imagining it all up or whether it was heading towards the direction I thought it was. Then there was the bigger question, did he work there or was he just sitting there and chatting with his friend whom I had seen working there. After all, yesterday, he was just sitting outside the shop and was fully clothed, and today he was in his ganjee, though he did have a jeans covering his lower half. Would a worker be wearing jeans to his work? No, no way. The day passed with me contemplating the various possibilities and comforting myself with the fact that it was he who had initiated it all.
Kindly note that it would be most real..with a few exaggerations here and there, what I would call as "Creative Freedom".. It is gonna e a long one..and even I don't know what turn it will take.
Something unexpected has been happening for the last few days and has been occupying my IMAGINATION since then. Yes, imagination I write, cause I still don’t know if it’s all in my head, or am I deciphering the signals correctly. Well, I am old enough to take note of the signals now, though I have never done that before, but yes, I have read it a thousand times online…and I think it is happening with me too. (Yay!!)
It all began about a week ago. I was getting out of my house, my cycle with me, to buy milk from the dairy shop. As I just got out of the door, there I saw, a guy of almost my age in his early 20s, riding his cycle along with his friend. I kept looking at him (the way I usually do with good looking guys) and he seemed to be doing the same, or at least had noticed the same. He smiled at me, and I sort of shied away. For a moment, it seemed as if I had seen the guy somewhere or knew him. Was that the reason he had also looked at me? Well, I didn’t waste much of my time and got up my cycle. I was headed in the same direction as him. I cycled fast to reach him, and then slowed down. He noticed me again, and this time said, “Nahi pehchante toh kya hua, baat toh kar hi sakte ho!” I momentarily stopped my cycle. My heartalmost skipping a beat. But then, out of no reason, I just sped away. He had reached his destination and he advanced no more, though his words rang in my ears, like the temple bells. How much I cursed myself for not stopping by and starting a conversation, for I didn’t know if I would be ever seeing him again. But then, when it came to talking to strangers or persons I am not too familiar with, I develop cold feet. I am such a crippled man in these terms, and it played spoilsport.
I thought it would be like the thousands of guys I just develop a fancy for while walking down the street or in any other crowded place and then forget as soon as I am out of it. But as luck would have it, it was not to be the case this time. As I returned back from my small trip to the dairy and was about to enter my house, I saw him coming again, this time without a shirt and only in his ganjee, sweat dripping from his body and his handkerchief around his neck. And there he was, smiling at me, and in fact, he waved at me. Not wave actually; he sort of saluted me. This time he was all alone, not in the company of any friend. I so dearly wanted to stop him and ask him was he actually hitting on me or was it just another Bengali catching the fancy of befriending a Punjabi? But as usual, I froze at the very thought of talking to him, and I let the moment pass again. Sighhh..
But destiny seems had some greater plans for me and I was to meet him very soon. And by very soon I mean a few hours later. It was around 7 pm and my stomach seemed to be asking to be fed with some light snack or evening meal. So I went to buy chops from the local shop, which was exactly at the place where I had sped away from him. As the Chopwallah was frying those chops, I stood there, trying to figure out among the dim light of the street lamp any good looking guy who could make my wait worth it and soothe my sore eyes. As I turned around, I saw two figures sitting outside a shop nearby. It wasn’t even a second that my eyes had wandered there but I saw someone waving at me and saluting in that typical manner I had seen a few hours back. My man was sitting there, chatting up with his friend, at the same time, keeping an eye on me. I wanted to run over to him and jump on him. I was all smiles, but from this distance and this darkness, he would have never seen that smile on my face. I lifted my hand to him, then pulling it back; not knowing what to do or how to respond. But even as this commotion within me continued, I did manage to half-wave at him back and he seemed to have seen that. I now felt like walking up to him, but he had his friend by his side. Even as my mind kept jostling between what should I do and what not, a lady came and sat beside them. She had a bowl in her hand and was making jhalmuri. I turned back, my head filled with thoughts of how to approach the guy. As the Chopwallah finished making the aloo chops for me, I paid him and began my journey back home. But to my dismay, he was no longer sitting there. He had suddenly disappeared, just as he had seemed to have appeared from nowhere before me. I lost my cheerful mood, but at least, I knew now that if I was to find him again, it had to be this place and shop. It was with these thoughts that I consoled my mind and prayed for another moment to meet him.
Day 2
It was just a one day meeting and for some reason, I seemed to have started longing to meet him again. But I was still not sure whether it was a chance encounter or I would be seeing more of him. The shop where I had seen him sitting with his friend the previous night was one that dealt with glass. From glass panes to glass tables…they dealt with everything. As the shop was a few meters away from my home and just on the roadside, I had to cross it whenever I would venture out of my home in that direction. These days, with my B.Tech having completed and me waiting for the joining dates to be mailed to me by the company, I didn’t have much to do and so would usually just doze off at home. But now, I seemed to long to go out in that direction. The next day at around noon, my mother asked me to bring something from the grocery shop. I had to pass the shop again. As I stepped out, I prayed to god to let him be there again. As I neared that shop, I slowed down my bicycle. I hadn’t approached the shop yet, but the road was very much visible in the glasses that lay within, resting against the wall. My man was sitting inside on a wooden table that I had seen being used to keep the glass on it to take measurements etc. He saw my reflection on the glass (which was acting like a mirror now) and was quick enough to look at me as I crossed the shop and raise his hand to give that customary salute of his. I, of course, was all smiles again and half-waved at him again. As I returned back, he was still there, only this time he had his face turned away and he didn’t see me coming. From within me, I waved at him and longed for him to turn back and look at me, but as I crossed the shop, no such thing happened.
The whole day I was now pre-occupied with thoughts of whether I was imagining it all up or whether it was heading towards the direction I thought it was. Then there was the bigger question, did he work there or was he just sitting there and chatting with his friend whom I had seen working there. After all, yesterday, he was just sitting outside the shop and was fully clothed, and today he was in his ganjee, though he did have a jeans covering his lower half. Would a worker be wearing jeans to his work? No, no way. The day passed with me contemplating the various possibilities and comforting myself with the fact that it was he who had initiated it all.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Its been a year now
I hope to make it a quick short post. After all, these days I seem to have lost the art of writing long articles. The first thing that my mind wanders to is the word limit, so much that when Sukanya had asked to send a write up for Shreya's Bday, I was the only one asking for word limits. But thankfully, umlike MS word, Blogspot doesnt show you the word count, so I needn't worry about it.
What a fine day yesterday was. I woke up, opened my laptop, and there flashed the admittance of Ricky Martin. Of course, his orientation had been the subject of speculation for years, but still, it became official now. I felt happy because as a celebrity, when you do that, you certainly change the views of many. At least many will now know that a gay needn't be feminine or something. But later, I also realised that it's been a year since I came out myself, somewhat in a similar fashion (RM must have taken some inspiration 4m me, lollz). All those feelings rushed in again, when I had finally let it out, and then wud keep checking for any comment from the persons it was intended to, to those words of support which finally came and relieved me. So much has happened since then. So much support from all corners, on the other hand, some say they are fine but their actions and words clearly point the other way and they hardly leave a moment to embarrass/sadden you.
And I feel so blessed to have such great friends whom I met through MD. MD is the best thing that has happened to me in my college life for sure. and I never forget to mention about MD wherever I go and have to narrate about how I came up with my magazine. I sincerely don't know what I would have done all these four years without MD. No wonder, Sid and DD were the ones I disclosed my orientation to at first. Before anyone points out that Gaylaxy is the best thing to have happened, let me point out, had it not been for MD, I would never have gained experience, never learned Corel Draw from Pawan and no such thing would have ever happened. At best, I would have been just one contributor to some other magazine.
I guess I am just in a jubiliant mood today and truly felt celebrating this "anniversary", which I was reminded of by Ricky Martin's admittance. But yes, before leaving this college, I do plan to come up with a big, nostalgic post about MD. All those silly meetings, about which DD would say "Hum sab kuch toh room mein aa ke decide karte hain, toh meeting kyun karte hain" to those sleepless nights during layout. Oh there is so much to write about what actually transpired in those meetings, which have always been coverts one. Let me see when can I take out some time next. I just need to get a little emotional. May be the MD treat or farewell will provide the impetus.
What a fine day yesterday was. I woke up, opened my laptop, and there flashed the admittance of Ricky Martin. Of course, his orientation had been the subject of speculation for years, but still, it became official now. I felt happy because as a celebrity, when you do that, you certainly change the views of many. At least many will now know that a gay needn't be feminine or something. But later, I also realised that it's been a year since I came out myself, somewhat in a similar fashion (RM must have taken some inspiration 4m me, lollz). All those feelings rushed in again, when I had finally let it out, and then wud keep checking for any comment from the persons it was intended to, to those words of support which finally came and relieved me. So much has happened since then. So much support from all corners, on the other hand, some say they are fine but their actions and words clearly point the other way and they hardly leave a moment to embarrass/sadden you.
And I feel so blessed to have such great friends whom I met through MD. MD is the best thing that has happened to me in my college life for sure. and I never forget to mention about MD wherever I go and have to narrate about how I came up with my magazine. I sincerely don't know what I would have done all these four years without MD. No wonder, Sid and DD were the ones I disclosed my orientation to at first. Before anyone points out that Gaylaxy is the best thing to have happened, let me point out, had it not been for MD, I would never have gained experience, never learned Corel Draw from Pawan and no such thing would have ever happened. At best, I would have been just one contributor to some other magazine.
I guess I am just in a jubiliant mood today and truly felt celebrating this "anniversary", which I was reminded of by Ricky Martin's admittance. But yes, before leaving this college, I do plan to come up with a big, nostalgic post about MD. All those silly meetings, about which DD would say "Hum sab kuch toh room mein aa ke decide karte hain, toh meeting kyun karte hain" to those sleepless nights during layout. Oh there is so much to write about what actually transpired in those meetings, which have always been coverts one. Let me see when can I take out some time next. I just need to get a little emotional. May be the MD treat or farewell will provide the impetus.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
GAYLAXY - East India's first Gay e-Zine
GAYLAXY - East India's first Gay e-Zine
The feb issue of Gaylaxy is out. DO check it by clicking on the link above.
Posted using ShareThis
The feb issue of Gaylaxy is out. DO check it by clicking on the link above.
Posted using ShareThis
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The story behind Gaylaxy
Finally. I got some time!! The dud year 2009 ended on such a high note. I never expected the year to end in such a fashion, especially since the year has been a bit harsh on me. After a series of mishaps I had on the day of the interview, I knew what the result would be. After all, nothing good could be expected to happen in 2009, not at the last stage. Moreover, given the way life has been for me, I always go thorugh Oh! I got it..to..Oh! I lost it and after a series of such Ohs! only do I get something. But seems lady luck finally shone...and I found my name on the list of selected candidates (or should I rather say my friends found out...I was fast asleep at that moment.)
Didn't feel much at that time. It took a day for the feeling to sink in that I have got placed, and the realization dawned only after all the calls started coming in. But I probably and thankfully didnt go through much of the placement jitters because I was already busy with my magazine by then. BTW, it has an interesting story. I had been trying to search over the net to apply to some LGBT magazine..so that I could contribute too. But Bombay Dost had just taken out an issue after almost 7 years, and there wasnt any word about the next one...and Pink Pages wasnt regular either. Moreover, it was possibly based in Bangalore. The only monthly magazine was The Queer Chronicle which started out form September. But it was only a Pune- centric one. They had hosted it on a free site.
Suddenly during the semester exams, just before the Optical Networks paper, a thought struck my mind. I know Corel Draw (some of it atleast)...I can write articles..then why not start my own Magazine. I just did a google search once again to see whether any such magazine is published in India. Damn it! I always get ideas when I am supposed to be working on something else. Convinced that it there are no such publications, I decided as soon as the exams end, I would begin my work. Told my roomie about it, but dont know whether he thought it as another of my "rebellious idea" or took me seriously then. But once the exams ended, I started working on it. Told a few of my net friends, but I experienced that unless I bring out 1 issue, it would be hard for others to understand.
Now, the first jitters were experienced by me when I began writng the first article which ws to be the cover story. Took me a whole day to figure out how to go about it and just start the article. Once I had written two articles, I needed some kind of affirmation that they weren't crap from someoneI could trust, some kind of support. Sid, DD werent here. So, I asked Sukanya if she cud just go through them and check for any mistake...the way we did it in MD. I had set myself a deadline of 20th Dec, since after that I would have gone to my home, and work wouldnt go on at that pace.
So, asked Pawan to design the cover page, and the template for other pages. At home, my holidays were mainly spent trying to do the layout, since I never had such a fine knowledge or experience of designing a page. Had done that only once during the Srijan issue when we had no one left to design the last page...and came out with the worst designed page of that issue.
And here I was to do the layout of 18 pages! And the fact that Corel Draw keeps doing its own processing for minutes, just adds to the frustrtation of it all.
At times, I felt so tired, I felt like quitting. After all, what was I to gain from it apart from some personal satisfaction? But, somehow I held on. Completed the work once I came back to the college, and the issue was ready by 10th. My roomie clicked the mouse button to upload it. The stupid little inauguration as he puts it. Started promoting by sending private messages to everyone on PR, and over Orkut communities. Never quite thought that would be sharing it with people here at ISM apart from the few friends. AFter all, they hardly liked what we brought out for them...and this was for an entirely differnt readership, with entirely differnt issues and perspective. So, once I uploaded it, MD memebers were the only one's I shared the link with. But probably networking did its trick, and to my astonishing surprise, it spread to many more then I even know, and yes, they appreciated it!
As for the appreciation from the gay community, I knew there would be, but never expected that it would be at such a level. Of course, I did my bit to promote it through the various pm's and replying back personally to those who sent any feedback. But never quite exected that within a few days, I would receive mails from as far as Mumbai, Gemrany and even USA! Mr. Sridhar from Mumbai is director of movies Gulaabi Aina and Yours emotionally, a leading gay activist too. Some one even offered to help financially, while others have come ahead to design and write for Gaylaxy. SOme ask me which NGO or organization I am with?
What scares me now is that what would happen when people come to know that I am just an inexperienced guy in his early twenties! The only thing that flashes to my mind is the scene from Deathnote, when Kira finally revealed himself, and people found it hard to digest. Yes, its kinda funny when people so senior of you address you as sir in the mails, and kind of scary too. The only thing that worries me now is, how am I gonna manage now? I might be able to manage the sem when, thanx to the friends, but what do I do when I join Aricent? Would I be able to ride on two boats? I dont know... for now, I am just focussing on the feb issue. Hope things will work out by themselves.
Thank you everyone who helped and supported me. Thanx a lot! For others, the
http://issuu.com/gaylaxy/docs/gaylaxy_jan_issue
(Oh God! I have again come up with such a big post!)
Didn't feel much at that time. It took a day for the feeling to sink in that I have got placed, and the realization dawned only after all the calls started coming in. But I probably and thankfully didnt go through much of the placement jitters because I was already busy with my magazine by then. BTW, it has an interesting story. I had been trying to search over the net to apply to some LGBT magazine..so that I could contribute too. But Bombay Dost had just taken out an issue after almost 7 years, and there wasnt any word about the next one...and Pink Pages wasnt regular either. Moreover, it was possibly based in Bangalore. The only monthly magazine was The Queer Chronicle which started out form September. But it was only a Pune- centric one. They had hosted it on a free site.
Suddenly during the semester exams, just before the Optical Networks paper, a thought struck my mind. I know Corel Draw (some of it atleast)...I can write articles..then why not start my own Magazine. I just did a google search once again to see whether any such magazine is published in India. Damn it! I always get ideas when I am supposed to be working on something else. Convinced that it there are no such publications, I decided as soon as the exams end, I would begin my work. Told my roomie about it, but dont know whether he thought it as another of my "rebellious idea" or took me seriously then. But once the exams ended, I started working on it. Told a few of my net friends, but I experienced that unless I bring out 1 issue, it would be hard for others to understand.
Now, the first jitters were experienced by me when I began writng the first article which ws to be the cover story. Took me a whole day to figure out how to go about it and just start the article. Once I had written two articles, I needed some kind of affirmation that they weren't crap from someoneI could trust, some kind of support. Sid, DD werent here. So, I asked Sukanya if she cud just go through them and check for any mistake...the way we did it in MD. I had set myself a deadline of 20th Dec, since after that I would have gone to my home, and work wouldnt go on at that pace.
So, asked Pawan to design the cover page, and the template for other pages. At home, my holidays were mainly spent trying to do the layout, since I never had such a fine knowledge or experience of designing a page. Had done that only once during the Srijan issue when we had no one left to design the last page...and came out with the worst designed page of that issue.
And here I was to do the layout of 18 pages! And the fact that Corel Draw keeps doing its own processing for minutes, just adds to the frustrtation of it all.
At times, I felt so tired, I felt like quitting. After all, what was I to gain from it apart from some personal satisfaction? But, somehow I held on. Completed the work once I came back to the college, and the issue was ready by 10th. My roomie clicked the mouse button to upload it. The stupid little inauguration as he puts it. Started promoting by sending private messages to everyone on PR, and over Orkut communities. Never quite thought that would be sharing it with people here at ISM apart from the few friends. AFter all, they hardly liked what we brought out for them...and this was for an entirely differnt readership, with entirely differnt issues and perspective. So, once I uploaded it, MD memebers were the only one's I shared the link with. But probably networking did its trick, and to my astonishing surprise, it spread to many more then I even know, and yes, they appreciated it!
As for the appreciation from the gay community, I knew there would be, but never expected that it would be at such a level. Of course, I did my bit to promote it through the various pm's and replying back personally to those who sent any feedback. But never quite exected that within a few days, I would receive mails from as far as Mumbai, Gemrany and even USA! Mr. Sridhar from Mumbai is director of movies Gulaabi Aina and Yours emotionally, a leading gay activist too. Some one even offered to help financially, while others have come ahead to design and write for Gaylaxy. SOme ask me which NGO or organization I am with?
What scares me now is that what would happen when people come to know that I am just an inexperienced guy in his early twenties! The only thing that flashes to my mind is the scene from Deathnote, when Kira finally revealed himself, and people found it hard to digest. Yes, its kinda funny when people so senior of you address you as sir in the mails, and kind of scary too. The only thing that worries me now is, how am I gonna manage now? I might be able to manage the sem when, thanx to the friends, but what do I do when I join Aricent? Would I be able to ride on two boats? I dont know... for now, I am just focussing on the feb issue. Hope things will work out by themselves.
Thank you everyone who helped and supported me. Thanx a lot! For others, the
http://issuu.com/gaylaxy/docs/gaylaxy_jan_issue
(Oh God! I have again come up with such a big post!)
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Enrique goes overboard with "Sad Eyes"
Enrique has come up with yet another superb song Sad Eyes, and as his songs become more and more melodic, his videos become more and more bold. The fans of Enrique Iglesias would surely be able to tell this. His earliest of video songs were "Bailamos", "Rhythm Divine" and "COuld I have this Kiss Forever". Each had enough of kissing and stuff to make it a hot no. With in "COuld I have this Kiss Forever", an orgy going on in the backdrop of the video.
This was followed by "Escape", "Hero" and "I dont know why". Hero had some love making scenes between the lovers in the video, while "I dont know why" had a girl bathing and wet as the main model of the video. Next up were "Addicted", "Not in Love"; with the videos getting bolder each time, with enough steamy scenes packed in.
His album Insomniac maintained the tempo. Songs like "Do you know", "Somebody's me", "Tired of being sorry", "Push" and "Taking Back my love" which were turned into video songs eventually all had love making as the theme. Giving enough of Enriques body show.
The latest video song that has been released is of a song from his Debut album Enrique, and the song is titled "Sad Eyes". The song was originally shot in 2000, but wasnt released bcause it was considered 'too hot to handle'. After almost 10 yrs, when the fans have got used to his skin show, the song has been recently released finally. And man, the video is unlike any other video of Enrique that u have seen. The only thing I can say is that he has just stopped short of pornography, and and is as erotic as it gets.
The video features an oiled shirtless Enrique looking up at an ad of a call girl and "massaging himself". Eventually, he brings home the girl, where they make some really hot moves, in a bath tub (with almost fully nude Enrique!), followed by a pole dance, gestures of the girl performing a blow job. Yes, he has shown it all, stopping just short of turning it into a porno. Dont believe me? Well, here are a few screen shots from the song (and man, they are HOTTTTT!!!!).
I thought his songs were getting better day by day while his videos were getting bolder and bolder. But seems I was wrong. He was bold enough in 2000 itself, he is jjust oening up to the world now.
This was followed by "Escape", "Hero" and "I dont know why". Hero had some love making scenes between the lovers in the video, while "I dont know why" had a girl bathing and wet as the main model of the video. Next up were "Addicted", "Not in Love"; with the videos getting bolder each time, with enough steamy scenes packed in.
His album Insomniac maintained the tempo. Songs like "Do you know", "Somebody's me", "Tired of being sorry", "Push" and "Taking Back my love" which were turned into video songs eventually all had love making as the theme. Giving enough of Enriques body show.
The latest video song that has been released is of a song from his Debut album Enrique, and the song is titled "Sad Eyes". The song was originally shot in 2000, but wasnt released bcause it was considered 'too hot to handle'. After almost 10 yrs, when the fans have got used to his skin show, the song has been recently released finally. And man, the video is unlike any other video of Enrique that u have seen. The only thing I can say is that he has just stopped short of pornography, and and is as erotic as it gets.
The video features an oiled shirtless Enrique looking up at an ad of a call girl and "massaging himself". Eventually, he brings home the girl, where they make some really hot moves, in a bath tub (with almost fully nude Enrique!), followed by a pole dance, gestures of the girl performing a blow job. Yes, he has shown it all, stopping just short of turning it into a porno. Dont believe me? Well, here are a few screen shots from the song (and man, they are HOTTTTT!!!!).
I thought his songs were getting better day by day while his videos were getting bolder and bolder. But seems I was wrong. He was bold enough in 2000 itself, he is jjust oening up to the world now.
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