The Anonymous Me

 As I deal with my first break-up.. every 2nd day going into the mode of "I should give him more time, it couldn't have been over" I stumbled upon this note I had written for someone I had a big crush on for over a year. The guy worked in my office, and, after almost a year of secretly admiring him, it seemed that he was finally showing some interest, pro-longing the chat on his own when I would run out of things to talk.

I was so madly in love(? may be) that right from New Year, I had started planning of what I will give to him on Valentine's day. Of course, I had never directly told him my emotions, but I saw hints, and thought V-day was the perfect day to propose. New Year came, I thought he will at least send an sms wishing me the same.. it never happened.. I was so confused with his mixed signals, I decided to end it all in my mind and move on. And I am glad that I did, for a few months back.. he got married. As luck would have it, I instead celebrated V-day with my current boyfriend (or should I call him my Ex? Nah, I still think we have a chance and I should approach him once more) whom I met just when I was trying to move myself away from this office crush/love.

Anyways, as is my habit of not destroying things/memories, I had kept this note saved in my laptop. I had written the note in one of the moments of extreme romanticism, when I was thinking of how to propose him on V-day. Read the note.. may be you will get to see the dilemma that I was in, the emotions that I had.

Someone who admires you just thought that a handsome man like you should receive beautiful flowers on this special day to make it more special for you, and bring a smile on your face. That someone doesn’t know whether this is the right thing to do, or whether you already got many red roses, whether you will be able to guess or have an inkling of who that someone might be. That someone has never given a rose to anyone earlier on valentines (or otherwise also) but thought this is the perfect time to do. That someone couldn’t have a heart break today (in case that someone read it all wrong all these days) and so remains anonymous, because at times ignorance is bliss, and this ignorance might atleast save me from having an upset mood today (if there is a chance of that).

I know anonymous posts/messages suck, but that Someone just hopes that you won’t mind the flowers today, and keep it thinking that someone likes you enough to have sent you flowers today. That you are the subject of someone’s blogs, someone’s thoughts revolve around you all the time; that someone could just go on writing about it on and on… That someone would be waiting to see whether you could guess who it is..