Monday, March 16, 2009

PM Mayawati!! God save India

Elections are nearing up and I just can't keep my mind from straying on the various possibilities. However, the scariest of them all to me is the emergence of Third Front. Suddenly, Left is now aspiring about forming govt. at the centre. They have already ruined Bengal (don't have much info about Kerala), held UPA back on various issues until it decide to go without them, and now they seem to be eager to unleash their wrath over the whole of country. And yes, they are choosing the best possible parties, who have the maximim capacity of doing damage to the country (as if they themselves were any less). The fact that BJP hasn't been able to put a united face ahead of elections is a cause of worry. They have already lost BJD, Chandrababu Naidu Jayalalitha, and at this rate, NDA is going to break soon. UPA also seems to be in disarray, with dissidents happy being under the dynasty rule.

Amidst all this uncertainties, to me, the fact that Third Front is growing each day is scary. And if anyhow, they garner votes, Mayawati is sure going to provide support contingent that she be made PM. Her MPs vote would be crucial for govt formation and so there's a realistic probability that she would become a PM. She has already started making statements to this end- 'If I become PM, I would bring in reservation for Upper Castes'. As if this country has less divisions on the basis of other things that she is bringing in one more criteria.

Just like when Manmohan Singh became PM there was a joke going around to the change of national song etc that would be made since the country had got a Sardar PM, here's what I think Mayawati would do. Given the eccentric woman that she is, who knows they might be enforced actually!!

1) Her birthday would be declared a National Holiday and declared as Dalit Liberation Day or something similar. I see a high probability of this happening since she is so fond of grandiose celebrations of her Bday.

2) PM's Relief Fund would be done away with. Instead, a new - Behenji's Bday Bash Fund would be established. People making contributions to it would be altogether exempted of taxes. Those making contributions in crores, or gifting her diamond necklaces would be able to count on her for any favour (remember the sparkling diamond necklace she wore in one of her Bday bashes).
Again a high probability of this happening for the above said reason.

3) She would try her best to banish Amitabh Bachaan and his family from the country. Even a small complaint and he would be seen packing his bags out of the country. Mulayam and Amar Singh would have been wise to leave the country beforehand fearing for their life.

4) Special offices would be opened in every district to deal with the heavy rush of people to issue caste certificates. And no! I am not talking about forged SC/ST/OBC certificates. If upper caste reservations would be introduced, surely you would require certificates to that effect too.

If you are now wondering what would Left be doing. I have an answer. They would keep themselves busy by making sure that every US- made thing remains outside India and then there would be the Herculean task of keeping two heavy weights- Jayalalitha and Mayavati together. After all women have traditionally found it hard to remain friends when they are at par.


Smart Primate said...

Heavyweights is right, both figuratively and lierally.

If Mayawati becomes PM, this country is surely going to the dogs. Might as well join our neighbours in civil war and anarchy if such a situation arises. But I am hopeful. After all, all voters can't be absolute jackasses to vote for these nincumpoops. Mobilize the citizens to make the right choices and we have lesser evils to worry about.

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